Tuesday Morning

I have a recurring dream of a beautiful long limbed woman (I think she's Brazilian) being nuzzled awake a little before noon by a puppy. She pats it absentmindedly as she rises from bed. She then usually strolls across the room to throw open the large French windows to let in a gentle breeze from a yawning blue ocean. She stretches contentedly and yawns back at the ocean without scarcely acknowledging the benevolent sun thats worked extra hard at his rainbow today. Her whole demeanor has a decidedly "Yeah whatever" feel to it.

If asked to find something to occupy the diametrically opposite position on the metaphorical wheel of things to wake up to, Nashua NH will throw up enough candidates in an average January fortnight to boggle even the most decisive mind.

Chargers Schmargers

How great is Brady? Passer Ratings need to be modified to account for 2 minute drills. I totally predicted this.

The Inside Man

I watched this on DVD recently, not a life altering experience, but I don’t want those 2 odd hours back either. If you haven't seen it and are toying with the idea of queuing it, the following may or may not help.

I like classifying things; it gives my life that little bit of structure from which I draw some comfort. It also lessens the burden on my simple mind since I can do less thinking and fill in gaps by simply making assumptions based on the broader genre. Things are just easier that way, for example, if someone asked me what I thought of Dumas' Count of Monte Cristo, I'd say "Ah. Good Prison Escape Book. Next."

I haven’t been able to make up my mind on whether this is a hostage-standoff movie or a caper movie, the latter being one of my all time favorite genres. The former genre I actively avoid* along with reality TV and whatever genre that WB (or is it UPMX3.1428 now?) show, Seventh Heaven belongs to. Anyway, The Inside Man seems to find some sort of happy medium that may appeal to fans of both genres (the people who like feel-good movies, and the Muggles). It’ll also appeal to people who like well crafted films (There. If you don’t like it, you like suckily crafted films). I see no reason not to recommend this as a rental for a snowy weekend, so without further ado, let me do just that – Clever plot, sharp dialogue, and an A-Rate cast under the supervision of an extremely talented film-maker.

[* this is different from mere passive avoidance. To actively avoid something you must first go find it and then avoid it completely]

Happy New Year Yawl

I'm nursing an absolutely horrid hangover. This hangover is one of great depth and has many facets, and is therefore hard to describe. But I’m going to try.

Picture an enormous Sumo wrestler who is also a giant gong* player in his spare time. Let’s call him Bob. Bob has lost a bet, the terms of which specify that the loser must bang repeatedly on a giant gong with all his might till the end of time. Imagine that Bob and his giant gong have somehow been miniaturized and placed in an acoustically friendly location in your skull. They have also magically retained all the strength and vitality of their giant selves. Now multiply the sensation caused by the ensuing gong pounding by a hundred and you begin to get the gist of it.

I wish I'd taken one of those charcoal pill things. This is one of the many times that I wish I was like Bertie Wooster, and I had a Jeeveslike manservant to concoct his miracle hangover cure** to summon me back to the land of the living. I think I had at least a couple of things happen to me last night that I recall thinking at the time would make good “anec-dotes”. What little I recall of these events, Bob and his giant gong pounding keep me from elaborating on. Also, is it just me, or is the sun being a bit of a d*ck today? Oh no, I think Bob stubbed his toe on something. Its best I slithered back to bed now.

* A gong that’s considerably larger than the average gong, the sort of gong a Sumo wrestler would play in his spare time (think 80’s martial arts movie).
** "In a small tumbler, drop, without breaking, one yolk of egg, two spoonfuls of Worcestershire sauce, two dashes of Tabasco, a pinch of salt, a pinch of pepper, one teaspoonful of malt vinegar"