Why National Treasure isn’t such a bad movie – Part I

I was having a few drinks with some acquaintances last weekend when I happened to mention that I’d watched National Treasure over 10 times. I’m not sure exactly what preceded that confession (thats what it was in this setting); I think someone was droning on about how the Godfather was the greatest movie ever, and someone else mentioned that Nicholas Cage was Francis Ford Cupola’s nephew, and of course Cage and John Travolta were in Face Off, and Travolta and Samuel L Jackson were in Pulp Fiction, and Jackson and Kevin Bacon rented an apartment together while they were in the Peace Corps in Sierra Leone….

So anyways, I was surprised at the amount of ridicule I drew when I steered the conversation over that deadly cliff. Someone actually suggested (in all seriousness wearing a very sympathetic look) that I seemed like such a smart guy. I suppose in retrospect I’m not that surprised, because I was clearly dealing with a group who were firmly convinced that time spent watching a movie that wasn’t the director’s cut of Godfather was time that could be better spent watching the director’s cut of Godfather. Re-watching the directors cut several times, back to back would be considered an acceptable way of spending a weekend. Now, before I go off and join one of the many support groups for People Who Regularly Mention The Godfather And National Treasure In The Same Breath, I’d like a moment or two to plead my case.

I’ve hinted in an earlier post that my simple mind processes movies better once they’re classified into genres. I contend that National Treasure combines two of films greatest genres – Caper Movies and Treasure Hunts. The two do share elements but have enough differences to warrant their own genres. More on caper movies and why I think National Treasure is a passable one in the next installment of this series.

Blood Diamond

I found that explaining the reasoning behind "Hello World" has done little to dispel my malaise. I think I've discovered what was bothering me. I'm pretty sure it’s this story about the Kohinoor I came across on rediff:

India stakes claim over Koh-i-Noor

There’s something about 108-carat accursed diamonds with a long history of blood and betrayal that captivates the imagination. Actually, I didn't really research the “accursed" bit (or any other bit for that matter) but I vaguely recall there being something about a curse. Anyway, if it isn't cursed it really should be. If I was the sort of person who made lists of things to put curses on, the Kohinoor would be right up there, somewhere between Britney Spears and Paris Hilton (on a list that is).

So why do the Indians want it back? Does anybody really care? While I’m usually one to take the view that issues like this being discussed in parliament are indicative of more government waste and triumphs of populism over sound policy making, I think that the timing of this particular debate is quite interesting. One could (and more than one probably have) make the argument that the return of the stone (actually stones now) would mean a lot more than simply the return of several million dollars worth of ex-solitaire.

British colonialists in India are said to have systematically destroyed any attempt at industry so as to provide a ready market for the rapidly expanding British Industry during the industrial revolution. This is believed to have lead to massive un-employment, a lopsided trade balance with a large import bill and negligible exports, resulting in several decades of minuscule GDP growth. When viewed in a certain light, it could be perceived that the modern day is showing a reversal in these trends. The Indian GDP grows at a rate upwards of 8%, the (albeit already developed) UK economy grows at closer to 2%. The outsourcing boom creates jobs in India, while certain corners of the industry claim that it creates unemployment in the UK. In fiscal 2005-06 India clocked a 25% increase in exports to stand at over $100 Billion. Is the return of the Kohinoor then symbolic of a shift in global economics? I don’t know.

Seriously. I really don't know what all that financial stuff means. Just give it back or I’ll tell.

Into the Burning Crusade

Blizzard's done it again, I renewed my WoW subscription after a year long hiatus. I'm admitting this publicly because this sort of thing seems fairly mainstream now. My decision to take the plunge was based largely on the assumption that the 8 million other subscribers couldn't have all gotten it wrong.

Upon re-entry, my initially high spirits were slightly dampened by the dawning reality of a thread bare inventory and depleted treasury. In a past life, I was a wealthy man who had grown accustomed to a lifestyle that was prone to certain excesses. I see no other recourse but to write Amit J a letter asking for a small loan. This is the first draft:

Greetings Old Friend,

I have been roused from my long slumber by visions of Azeroth in great peril. We must act quickly if we are to prevail. What was once unlearned must be relearned, bonds once sundered, reforged. You must unite with me by blood and by breath to protect the light.

And while you're at it can you like lend me 5 bucks?

These fucking gryphons are expensive... Its those damn democrats and their unions. I just need to catch a gryphon to some place where I can kill things and make money. It's a good thing I can conjure my own food and water. I'd beg outside the AH but thats really not how I was raised. Anyways, can't wait to put the Burn back in Burning Crusade.

Your friend in dark times,
DD

PS - I promise I wont spend it all on hookers.

Whats In A Name?

I slept fitfully last night and woke with a vague sense of dissatisfaction. I haven't been able to quite put my finger on it's source, but I'm wondering if I might feel better if I explained to my imaginary readership the reasoning behind the title of my blog. I am a programmer by profession and this is my first blog. I hope it all makes perfect sense now.

[Editor's Note - It's a widely acknowledged fact that any self respecting programmer must title his first attempt at anything "Hello World". Besides, its friendly, simple, and unlikely to offend any religious or ethnic groups. I think its reasonably safe to assume that "Hello World" isn't the moral equivalent of a particularly nasty "Yo Mamma..." in some sub-saharan culture]

Here's an interesting link that’s related, be sure to checkout the Hello World program in Brainf*ck (Yes really - There’s a language called Brainf*ck, and the code snippet suggests its aptly named):

The ACM Hello World Project

Also checkout codeworks, I used to know a guy who talked like that.