What a relief... umm start I mean

So far, so not too bad. When you spend 103 Million on someone who hasn't started a Major League game, you should consider growing a few more fingers so you can cross 'em.

Matsuzaka is not bad, for starters

Why National Treasure isn’t such a bad movie – Part II

I think we can all agree that a good caper movie has the following elements (these are neither necessary nor sufficient):

1. A protagonist or a group of protagonists. If there’s a group of protagonists, each should have a specialty. It’s acceptable for the protagonists to be on the wrong side of the law as long as they are basically good and their crimes are victimless (or if their victims are evil).
2. A very expensive/important artifact or a very large sum of money
3. An overly elaborate set of theft preventive mechanisms that are almost impenetrable (emphasis on almost). These may or may not include lasers, motion detectors and biometric devices (fingerprint readers, retinal scans etc).
4. A plot that involves (1) trying to steal (2) by penetrating (3).
5. A happy ending that involves (1) successfully stealing (2) by penetrating (3).
6. Bonus points for a good double cross or triple cross, too many crosses are dangerous, as the audience doesn’t (basically I don’t) like feeling like its (I’m) being messed with. The crosses should still honor the happy ending clause; the good guys should get the money.

Since my simple mind grasps a concept most easily when presented with examples, I’m including a list of what I think are Caper Movies (in no specific order):

• Oceans Eleven (Cool)
• Oceans Twelve (Uber Cool)
• The Italian Job
• National Treasure
• Mission Impossible I
• Office Space (Not a conventional caper movie, but I’m always looking for an opportunity to bring it up)
• Mystery Men (Ok so that’s not a caper movie at all, but I f*cking love that movie)

While National Treasure isn’t an out and out Caper Movie, I think it stakes a reasonable claim to being on the list; the theft of the Declaration of Independence appears to satisfy criteria (1) through (5). In the next installment, I’ll discuss Treasure Hunt movies.